Pointing Fingers

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Wow, my week is really of kilter.

My Monday blog was posted on Tuesday and my Thursday blog is posted on Friday.  It’s really weird.

Either the Labor Day holiday messed with my writing rhythm or something more sinister in nature is at play.  Maybe there is some space alien influence or something like that.  Surely it can’t be my fault.

It is amazing to me how easy it is to blame something or someone else for our actions, or lack of it.  As I reflect on our society, it is terribly sad and telling that I can’t think of anyone who has stepped up and honestly accepted the blame or responsibility for some wrong.

I cannot remember anyone of prominence or high profile position who just simply and genuinely said:

  • “I was wrong.”
  • “I have no excuse.”
  • “I accept full responsibility and the consequences for my behaviors.”

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On the other hand, it didn’t take me long to think of a multitude of high profile apologies for being caught for doing something wrong.

The apology comes from PR Spin 101.  It is basically the same formula regardless of the person or the circumstances.  First you publically apologize for the mistake.  Then you must show that you feel bad for disappointing your fans or family (a tear is always a nice touch), and then you top it off by announcing that you are going into treatment or counseling.

PR firms know that the public tends to have short memories and the people handlers have learned… “this too will pass”.

The anomaly to both scenarios is of course Charlie Sheen.  Regardless of what I think of his completely destructive, inappropriate and barbaric behavior… at least he’s not a hypocrite.

“The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children. “
- Charlie Sheen

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The thing about it, Charlie is not blowing smoke up our skirt trying to make us think he is nicer or better than what he is.  Strangely… on some level I respect that.

But here’s the nitty gritty of this topic.  It’s easy to focus on those who are truly masters of the craft of blame (politicians and celebrities), and forget to look at ourselves.

The proliferation of professional blamers makes it easy to blame them for our blaming.

Frankly it doesn’t matter what other people do.  It matters what I do.

When we blame, we give away our power.

- Greg Anderson

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This quote is amazingly true.  We relinquish self when we blame.  We abdicate our personal power when we say something was out of our control when it was not.

In essence, we think that in blaming we are saving face.  When in reality we are showing our true face.

Where do you have a tendency to blame?

Who’s the easy target for you?

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The search for someone to blame is always successful.

- Robert Half
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Now that I have talked about blame, I guess I need to fess up as to why I didn’t get Thursday’s blog posted until today.

No, to my chagrin there was no space alien influence.  Frankly, I just didn’t feel like writing.  My brain was flatter than usual yesterday.

See you Monday.

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