I need a “Do Over”

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Hi, Happy New Year and welcome to the first blog entry of 2012.

Well… if you are reading this blog, it means you have successfully survived another year.  Congratulations!

In the last blog entry of 2011 I reflected on the past year and talked about the different ways we deal with memories… people tend to be a Filer or a Piler.  I then launched into an eloquent discourse (humm… somewhat debatable) on the benefits of being a memory piler.

If you are assuming that in this first blog of 2012 I will poke around the topic of looking at fresh starts for the New Year – you are correct.  Oh how I hate being predictable!

As much as I didn’t want to be predictable I felt compelled to explore some possible traps of the typical New Year fresh start.

Don’t get me wrong… I like fresh starts and we NEED fresh starts.

I remember when as a kid we would be playing a game and on occasion someone would say, “Do over.”  Then we would start over… or give the person another chance.

Yes, there was always someone who would try to use it to an unfair advantage.  That’s a different topic for a different time.

But most of the time the Universal Rule of “Do Over” was requested by someone who just needed a fresh start.

If we are requesting a “Do Over” I want us to get the most out of our new beginning and not have it be sabotaged by our faulty thinking or the past.

It’s sad but true, our old thinking and baggage can and will undermine our efforts if we are not careful.

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“Don’t let the past corrupt your future.”

- Oswald Chambers

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Here are a few pointers that I hope will help.

# 1. – Give yourself permission for a “Do Over”.

We have all started things, and failed… more than once (in fact many times).  The more we have let ourselves down the harder it is to request a “Do Over”.

We’re weird like that.  Somehow we feel that we don’t deserve another chance.

Let me say as clearly and forcefully as possible – THAT IS A LIE!!!

Give yourself permission.

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# 2. – Make changes for yourself

Personal growth is… huh… personal.  If not careful you will get in the trap of trying to change for others.  That gets messy pronto.

It gets messy because of two extremes.  The first is, if you have a set back, you will disappoint them and you feel crappy cause you let them down.  Or secondly, you start to make changes and they try to force you back into the role or behavior they want you to be or is most comfortable for them.

Change affects change.  You change and it inadvertently changes the world of those around you… and some people prefer their comfort over your progress.

For real sustained change and growth we have to do it for ourselves because it’s the right thing to do.

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# 3. – Realize that the future is a clean slate

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I like that picture… and it’s true.

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# 4. – Think progress not perfection

With any bold step there are missteps along the way.  If you expect perfection you will get discouraged quickly.  And discouragement is the valley for quitting.

Understand from the beginning that there will be missteps… and accept that reality.

Our growth is a journey not a destination.

I have my share of “Do Over’s” for 2012 all lined up.

Do you want to hang out with me and journey together?  I hope you do.

I plan on making this journey with or without people being with me… but it’s a lot more fun having the company.

See you on Thursday.

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