That’s Not Fair

Howdy… welcome back.

If you have been reading the last couple of blogs you know by now that I view life as a mountain.  There is a variety of terrain and steepness but there is always a slope.

We are thrown on this mountain by birth.  We had no choice in the matter.  We also had no choice where we landed.  Some entered this journey on a plush meadow that is fairly level… a relatively easy start.  Others immediately found themselves clutching to the side of a cliff barely able to hang on in the hostile environment.  This is not a judgment, just a “what is”.

I don’t know why we don’t all begin life from the same starting line… but we don’t.  It seems unfair. 

Personal Life Learning:  Fair does not mean equal

There are three things that puzzle me at times about life and fairness.

First you have the personal attributes that we are born with.  Some are born smarter or more attractive; some are gifted athletes; others are talented musically or artistically; and then there’s the rest of us.  

Then there is another layer of complexity that knocks the fairness scale totally out of kilter… the environment in which we find ourselves thrown into.   Some people grow up in an envrionment of…

  • Abundance or poverty
  • Loving or emotionally void
  • Supportive or abusive
  • Affirming or critical
  • Goal oriented and go getting or let life happen and just hang on
  • Stoic or emotional
  • Serious or fun
  • Peaceful or conflict
  • (add your own scale to the list)


    “We are like every other American family… dysfunctional”  - Latoya Jackson


    “If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair.  Because five minutes at the fair, you’ll be going, ‘you know, we’re alright. We are dang near royalty.’”                                                                      - Jeff Foxworthy

Finally, (and probably the most confusing of all) life experiences.  No one can sufficiently explain why seemingly random tragedies target certain people.  It makes no sense why a person dies young, abuse, disfiguring accident, cancer at 28, abandonment, on and on ad infinitum.

We as individuals are unique blend of variety and degree of these ingredients.  Then to top it off we are boxed up with other people we live with whom have their own weird life concoction.

Needless to say this can make life very complicated and challenging.  But that is the nature of mountains.  The challenge is great but oh there is so much good that comes from the variety.  Amazing good.

That is why I am committed to routinely tossing a bottle in the ocean (blog # 1) with an encouraging message.  A message that yes, life is unpredictable and unfair but there is so so so very much to enjoy and experience.  The variety that seems like a curse is also an amazing blessing.

But we have to be willing to look beyond our present and know there is more.  If something is stirring deep within you that believes there is more… you are hearing the faint voice calling you to move higher on the mountain.

What a grand adventure.  Later.

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