Hitting the Wall

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Wow… at the end of my last blog entry I said I would see you on Monday.  I had no idea it would be Monday week.  It has been ten days since I posted.

I am not so grandiose to think anyone was pining away wondering what happened to their twice a week dose of Rushing meanderings and nuggets of nonsense.

But for some reason I hit an invisible wall that I can’t explain.  Yes, I had an incredibly busy week… but that never stopped me before.

It’s been weird because I have been very disciplined about posting.  Since January 4, 2010 I have posted 279 entries – two a week.

I posted twice a week as a commitment to myself.  That’s why I always end the blog with a day as a means of personal accountability.

I do this because my history before 2010 was to start grand noble things and then have them fizzle out.  Then they would get shoved into the jam-packed mental closet with all the other discarded initiatives.

Don’t get all smug and self-righteous.  Everyone has one of those mental closets.  You know the one.

It’s the place in your head you avoid but when you are forced to go there to hide things away, you have to slowly and carefully crack the door just enough to shove whatever it is you’re trying to get rid of.

You close the door quickly so nothing tumbles out then hope and pray the door holds to prevent all the crap from tumbling out.

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Everyone has a closet or room like this… its cluttered with stuff we don’t know what to do with but we need to have some place for it so the rest of the house can be relatively neat and tidy.

But writing this blog is one thing I will continue to do.  This will not end up in the closet of fizzled promises.

It’s not because I think any of you will be upset or disappointed.  I don’t believe I have anything to say that will change the world.

But writing this blog… changes my world.

So I am going to persevere.

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Perseverance, secret of all triumphs.
- Victor Hugo

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There may be one day when I decide that writing this blog is over.  That will be ok.

But I will not and must not let it die a slow undignified death.

I don’t know why this week has been weird.  But it has.

The thing I have to be on guard for is my morbid need to understand why this past week disappeared.

I am giving myself permission to let it go.

So, I will see you Thursday.

Ciao.

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