Bad Pain

Hi there, welcome back. 

Yep, you guessed it.  What I thought would be a one blog topic has sloshed over to another entry.  I personally though I had put enough flesh around the painful topic of pain to move on to more pleasurable things. 

But alas… I was wrong.  My wife graciously informed me that there was more.  And the frustrating thing about it is, she’s right.  My mind totally whiffed the ball regarding one aspect of pain that is central to our lives.

I mentioned that there is pain that is intentional and we embrace it because the reward is greater than the cost.  And I talked about the pain we experience that is self inflicted out of ignorance or stupidity. 

“The hard part of being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.”

- Richard Braunstein

But what I missed spending time on is the pain that we experience in life that is present because of no fault of our own – not by bad choices nor by intention. 

These are the variety of agonies we face in life that touch the heart (emotions), head (mental), and body… BAD PAIN.

All have (or will) experience pains such as losing a loved one too soon;  the rejection by one you love by no fault of your own; the physical pain one experiences due to a disease or accident; the innocent abused or exploited; you add your own pain point. 

The real problem is not why some pious, humble, believing people suffer, but why some do not. 

– C.S. Lewis


These are pains to which there are no easy answers or solutions and makes life seem so very unfair.  The pains are present… just because.

The interesting thing about this type of pain is that it cannot be ignored.  Its vile presence demands attention and seems to cruelly mock our inability to control all of life’s situations. 

Unfortunately this reality of life begs the question, what do we do when we experience this kind of pain?

I think everyone goes through a myriad of feelings and emotions from raging anger to smothering numbness.  The important question/ issue is, where do you end up?

All go through some cycle of emotion and then eventually work their way to the other side where the pain or pain event becomes part of the mosaic that makes up who you are.

But some never seem to make it through (or it takes much too long) and the pain defines who they are. 

Some angrily pump their fist heavenward and curse God and then allow themselves to gravitate even more deeply in the tangle of anger and end up cozying with its partner… hate

Yes, this partnership of anger and hate provides a convenient outlet for one’s emotions but the deception is that it unknowingly magnifies and perpetuates the pain one resents.

Then there is numbing emotional pain… it aches.  It is not a sharp pain that pierces but a weighty ache that lies below the surface smothering the soul.  The constant press of the ball of hurt inside seeps through the small cracks and emotions tumble out at the slightest opportunity. 

I am not judging the natural course of people’s emotions.   We have all been there to some degree or another.  And I don’t have the answer that makes sense of the why, what, and when of this kind of pain. 

But I do believe that the path through the pain is to look out, not in

If not careful one easily spirals downward in a morass of morbid introspection searching for answers.  The focus is inward with the unending search for why. 

Going and looking “out” is not ignoring the problem.  It is looking at the problem outward vs. inward.  We march forward in life vs. stepping back.

Please forgive me if I sound simplistic in my opinion.  I realize things of this nature are never easy. 

Personally I don’t like the topic of pain.  If gives me the willies. 

But I follow where I believe I am led.  Pain was not on my mental agenda.  But who knows, maybe someone reading this needs what I am writing.

See you Monday.

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