20/20 Blindness

Hello, welcome back.

It’s hard to believe but today is blog number 121.  I have people ask how I come up with stuff to write about… frankly I’m not sure.  Stuff just pops in my head and I go with it.

Some people may call it being lazy by just making up crap.  I call it being serendipitously creative.  You call it one thing, I call it another.

It’s funny how that happens in life.  We see someone do something that’s irritating or goofy and wonder why they don’t see it.  How can they be so blind to something so obvious?

The weird thing about it is that people may be saying that about you.  “Who me?”  Yes, you.

Humans have a unique ability to shut out or avoid things that are negative.  To complicate the situation more is that we have the remarkable ability to re-frame things to make them look and sound better… even be seen as a positive.

Confused yet?  Let me share some examples that may make things a bit clearer.

Others see you as aggressive – you see yourself as assertive

Others see you as stubborn – you see yourself as opinionated

Others see you as judgmental – you see yourself as observant

Others see you as passive – you see yourself as cooperative

Others see your children as spoiled – you see them as being independent

Others see you as lazy and making up crap – you see yourself as serendipitously creative

Obviously my point is that we see ourselves differently than the way others see us.

The big question is how do we know what’s true.  For example, how do I find out if I am actually too aggressive or if the other person is a whiny quiche and tofu eater who is overly sensitive to people who speak up.

Side Note: Just kidding about the quiche thing.  I like quiche… but it has to have chunks of bacon.

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If I am really interested in growing as a person I have to be willing to face truth.  To find truth I have to be open… not gullible… open.

Open means that I am willing to take the information in and honestly test it.

This begs the question, how do I test this information for truth?  It is rather simple, not easy, but simple.  It’s not easy because it requires honest examination.

To test information you must look back in your life and honestly compare it to things you have heard before form different people over a period of time.

This is key – different people, over time.

If you are honest, you will quickly be able to recite the messages you have heard.  Things like…

… you’re too abrasive

… you’re too defensive

… you’re too rigid

… you’re too negative

… you’re too _________ (fill in the blank)

The next thing is that you have to be willing to accept truth.  If you are serious you will do more than give an acknowledging nod to truth.  You will internalize truth.

This is not an internal whipping where you beat yourself senseless because you are a bad person.  No!  Truth does the work.

Truth in its purist form is potent.  In a mysterious way truth begins to transform you.  As long as you nurture it and continue to be open, you start to change.

Uh oh, now that I have completed this blog entry for today, I have the nagging sense that I recently wrote about this very topic of seeing ourselves differently that others see us.

I hope not, but if I have, so what.

It means one of three things.  First, I personally need to hear something again; Second, it may be truth knocking on your door; or three, I’m just lazy and I’m here making up crap.

See you Monday.

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