Posts Tagged: anticipation

May 10

Unpacking the Box

Hello again.  Wanna help me unpack?  Any help provided in these matters is always valued and appreciated.

I know the question about unpacking sounds weird but if you take a minute to read the last blog entry it will make sense.

I mentioned that the time box from my youth created a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts.  It was very stirring.

It is important to note and differentiate the difference between being stirred and troubled about something.

Both tend to have an unsettling dimension… a sensation of slow bubbling fermentation.  But to me, both are very different at the core.

Stirring has the sense of something loosening up or breaking apart.  These are old encrusted things being freed from their casement of distorted perspective, faulty memory or erroneous beliefs at a given time in our past.

At the core it is a good thing (uncomfortable… even scary… but good).

Troubled has an ominous feel and is sinister in nature.  Troubling things poke at us demanding attention… all of our attention.  It can easily suck us into a black hole taking us down.

What I am feeling is stirred.  There is something in all of this for me that creates a sense of anticipation… even excitement.

I know that poking around the past can be a bit dicey if not careful.  But our past in proper perspective provides amazing insight to who we are, what we believe and wonderful context to the journey we are on.

The Box

One of the first things I found was a yellowed envelope that had a sort of fabric feel because the stiffness of the paper had deteriorated.  I gently opened the flap and inside was beautiful blond curls of hair… my hair.  It felt weird seeing my childhood hair.

I looked on the envelope and in faded pencil was written, “Jerry’s curls – age 3”.  I have some pictures of me at that age sporting a head full of blond curly hair.  I thought about posting one but that would have been weirder.

Side Note: The items in a time box tell more about the person who saved and packed the box than the specific subject of those items.

As I waded through the box I was beginning to understand more about my mom than learning things about myself.

At the time of the cutting of the curls my mother was a 28 year old woman with three boys (a fourth died shortly after birth).   She had married at the age of 17 to a man who was a migrating country preacher; 10 years her senior… times were hard.

With the envelope I saw a young mother trying to hold on to a snippet of time by capturing the essence of children she loved.  Maybe it was her small way to stop time in a life wrapped in the continuous motion of church, moving and three rambunctious boys under the age of 7.

It makes me wonder what I would pack in a time box.  What would it say about me?  What would your time box say about you?

Interesting things for me to ponder as I continue to unpack my box.

See you Monday.

Apr 10

A Seed of Truth

I know some of you are itching to get back on the trail climbing the mountain.  The last few entries have been a break from traveling.  It was kinda like we were sitting around a camp fire swapping stories and philosophizing about life.

Don’t worry, we’ll hit the trail again next Monday and continue our madcap adventure up the mountain.

But for now I need to complete my thoughts about Truth.  And today’s topic is important because it’s the miracle part of Truth.

If you remember, I started talking about Truth because of a thought provoking comment by Kathy.

Excerpt from Kathy’s Comment:

I get grabbed by something that is true and then I belong to it. Change inside of me happens almost automatically. Why do you think it happens that way? Do you think that is the way it is with all truth–scientific truth–or discover in historical facts? or is it just with spiritual truth?

We have talked about the power of Truth… Truth Transforms. It is truly miraculous.

As I mentioned in an earlier blog I believe all aspects of Truth (natural, scientific and Spiritual) comes from God.  They are all intertwined building upon and supporting one another.

Truth Caveat: Well… there are some truths that don’t exactly fit into the God quotient.  Things like. Mike Brown will never hire a GM for the Cincinnati Bengals, the Chicago Cubs never making it to a World Series and Jessica Simpson having no talent.

Now I’ve really done it.  I have made all of the Jessica Simpson fans angry… both of them.

The metaphor that best captures Truth’s miraculous transforming power for me is that of a seed in the ground.

The ground receives the seed.  The seed may be forced by hand into the ground but at some point the soil must embrace it thus allowing the course of nature to occur.

Truth must be received… we must take it in.  We may not fully understand or be totally comfortable with its presence but we consent to the process.  Rejection of the seed terminates transformation.

We are responsible to be faithful to the process.  We cannot make it happen… we allow it to happen.  We provide the environment that is conducive for growth and provide the right nutrients.  We guard against contamination and critters that want to destroy.

Transformation requires diligent patience.

If not careful we can hinder growth.  We tend to be impatient and want to dig up the seed to check to see if it is sprouting.  This is the faith part… trusting the process.

Hopefully you have been sprinkled with a lot of Truth seeds lately.  Just receive them and allow them to sink in.  Be open to the invisible process of transformation that works from the inside out.

So I sit, typing away knowing that seeds of Truth are moving around inside (it could be the chili I ate last night… nope… its Truth I can tell the difference).

It is grand to suddenly see the transformation begin surface.  Really grand.

Later… Monday!

Apr 10


Hello.  Welcome back.

This blog thing is getting pretty draining.  I think I will give it up.

Psyche!  April Fool’s.

I know, I know… pretty childish.  Just messin with you.  I better not get too spunky, some of you may actually be bummed that I plan to continue to write.  Oh well.  I think it best I move on before I dig this hole any deeper.

In the last blog I started to respond to a comment made by Kathy.  I touched on the topic of Truth.  I mentioned that I believe there is Truth and there are truths.

Note to all of my non-Christ follower friends:  This is a topic that will definitely have some spiritual context.  I am not expecting for you to believe like I do but I do hope that I share some things that may cause you to think.

I would really like to have your thoughts and comments because I am open to have my thinking stirred also.  So please share your perspective.  Once again, don’t worry, I won’t get preachy on you.

Just so you know, I believe that all truth comes from a single source… God.

There are two distinguishing characteristics of Truth that I would like to poke around on for a bit.  They are, Truth Informs and Transforms.  I plan on talking about how Truth Transforms in the next blog on Monday but for today I will tackle Informs.

Honest Confession: I used the word “Informs” because it had a nice ring when partnered with “Transforms”.

Yes it is shallow and self serving but you gotta admit… the words do sound good together (Sort of like Captain and Tannille, Sunny and Cher or Pebbles and Bam Bam).

Although the word “Inform” is somewhat descriptive it is much too mundane and vanilla for the weight and significance it carries.  There is nothing mundane or vanilla about Truth.

What I mean by Informs is that Truth has a way of quietly piercing the clutter to let us know that we are nearing something of substance and significance.  There is a weighty awareness about the situation we’re in or a thought about something we are mulling over that stills us with… “there is something big here that is deserving of my attention.”

I tried to come up with an example but I found it extremely difficult.  I could not articulate anything that even comes close to the point I am trying to make.

It dawned on me that this is the nature of Truth.  You can’t wrap your mind around it in total.  These encounters provide a small pin hole, a glimpse, of Truth.  As you go through life these small pin holes begin to form a picture, a sense of Who and what Truth is all about.

I believe that Truth is constantly being revealed but we are unaware or blind.  One has to be open and ready, expecting something at any time.  This is not a burdensome duty of being on the “look out” but a childlike anticipation and excitement of discovery at any moment.

In our small community we have neighborhood parades on Memorial Day and Labor Day.  About 9:45 in the morning the homes on each street begin sporadically burping up people to make their way to the parade route.

The children are the most fun to watch.  They are animated, alert and fidgety with excitement.  Even before you hear the siren of the lead police car there is a groundswell of energy that clearly announces that something is about to happen.  The kids start leaning out toward the street, stretching their necks and poking their heads over each other to be the first to get a glimpse of the flashing blue light that proclaiming the reality of something special.

This is the way I want to be in looking for Truth.  A childlike excitement and joy.

Truth is amazing.

See you Monday.

Mar 10

Searching or Discovery

Good to see you again.  Or if it’s your first visit… welcome.

I thought it would be good to stop a moment and make sure I am going in the right direction on this journey of mine.  And most importantly make sure I continue to be clear on WHY I am on this journey.

I am on a journey of discovery and not destination (see blog # 4 “The Voice).  I am not searching to try to find something, but I am out to see what I can discover.

Side Note: Just so you know, I can read your thoughts.  After reading the sentence above you just tiled your head and said, “Huh?  There he goes getting all weird on us again.”

Stick with me; it will make more sense in a bit.  At least I hope it does because I would like to know what I’m talking about also.

“Searching” to me denotes looking for something.  There is intent, expectation, desire, or need driving the activity.  And honestly, we all have times in our lives where we are on a journey searching for something.

Side Note Again: This metaphorical walk that some of you have decided to join me on may be a journey of searching for you.  And that is absolutely fine.

That’s the beauty of all this.  Two people walking side by side can be on two different journeys.  Cool huh.

I personally am on a journey of “Discovery”.  I am compelled to explore.  I have no expectations but I do have expectancy.  It is a journey into the unknown.

“You cannot have discovery unless you have the unknown. “

- Penelope Stokes

Let me explain it another way.  As I have already shared, I am a devoted Christ follower (Don’t worry my dear non-Christ following friends, I’m not getting preachy).  I see my Spiritual journey as one of discovery… amazing discovery.

I hear this call from beyond to continually pursue Truth.  These Spiritual truths seem just beyond my grasp.  I sort of see them and can almost touch them.  They begin to emerge through the fog of intellect but quickly retreat into the shadows (kinda like a Divine hologram).

Spiritual truths have an interesting paradox.  I have discovered that you…

  • Can never possess them – they posses you.
  • Cannot master them – they master you.

The discovery process means that I have to diligently pursue these truths.

In essence, I chase them until they catch me.

That’s the joy and beauty of discovery.  Sometimes what you discover may have been there all the time.

What an exciting adventure.  I can’t wait to see what we find.

Au revoir.

Jan 10

The Mountain

Climbing mountains can be hell.  I’m not cussing again, just stating fact.

When you start it’s not too bad… slight incline, new adventure, good company, anticipation of what’s ahead, feeling fresh.  All’s good.

But like most things starting is not the problem, its keeping moving forward when things get tough.  And as we all know, anything of significance will have tough spots.  In fact, I tend to believe that the tough spots are in direct proportion to the significance.  But the good news is… the joy, reward and pleasure are multiplied all the more.

I bring this up because some of you have taken a bold step to join me on a journey.  This risky journey we are going on is going to have its rough patches.  I am not saying this to discourage you but to prepare and challenge you now (while things are still easy) to reaffirm your commitment.

Side note: I know that some of you are scratching your head right now trying to figure out what I am talking about.  You might want to check out the first blog entry “A Bottle in the Ocean” , it will give you a clearer picture.

I am committed to this adventure.  I look back on my life and see the road cluttered with too many with good intentions.  I’m not beating up on myself because I don’t think that I am that different from most people and more importantly I don’t want the clutter behind me to cause me to stumble as I move forward.  I mentioned in an earlier blog entry that movement is key not speed.

Don’t worry this is not going to be a “when the going gets tough the tough get going” pep talk.

But I do want to encourage you.

I have a very dear friend who is a runner… I mean a runner… the marathon type runner.  In fact she qualified for the Boston Marathon.  Very cool!  Anyway just so you know I am NOT a runner.  For some reason I find it boring.

But I digress… when she started running marathons someone suggested that she put her first name on her running jersey.  At first she thought it kinda goofy but gave it a try.  She was amazed at how much it helped.  All along the 26+ miles total strangers would cheer her on by name.  This was especially meaningful when around the 20 mile mark most runners kick into survival mode.

In marathons there are crowds all along the way clapping, cheering, supporting, etc.  But the supportive roar (albeit nice) is generic.

But the personalized cheers of, “Go Vickie”, “Vickie, you can do it!” made a difference.

It will be tiring but let’s keep at it.

See you Monday.

Jan 10

The Voice

Good morning (well… its morning somewhere)

You ready to go?  You’re probably saying, “About time!”  Yep, I agree.  It’s kinda like going on vacation, there’s a lot of prep.  Did you bring your toothbrush?

No it’s not that kind to journey.  It is the kind you do from the comfort of your home.  Pretty cool huh?  Go on an adventure without getting off your butt.   But… (no pun intended) because you are in the safety of your home, this does not mean this journey won’t be challenging, fun, difficult, and hopefully entertaining.

Anyway, my wife wouldn’t want me to go gallivanting off with a bunch of strangers to who knows where (at least without her).

OK… we are now outside the wall that has kept us trapped much too long, the big question is, where to now?  Not back… that’s for certain.

As I sit and type I am literally tilting my head back with my eyes closed.  I feel like someone who is standing outside on a cool morning drinking in the fresh smells and sounds and feeling the soft brush of the wind on the face.

“Where to now?”    Shhhhh….  I am listening for the voice.

Side Note: While I’m enjoying the pause listening, I can almost read your mind….

“What kind of kook is this?  It’s probably some out-of-shape guy sitting in front of the TV in his underwear eating cheese curls and scratching.”  (Sorry for the visual)

Just in case you are wondering…. I’m not eating cheese curls.

But does it matter if I were the fellow I just described?   What does matter is this… if something has been stirring in your core and for some reason you are intrigued about this journey thing…. Will you take the step?   Just small ones will do.  Movement is the key… NOT speed.

OK, back to the voice.

I know… I know… you’re thinking the right medication will help those voices in the head.  But these are voices of the heart and not the head.  If you want to get rid of the voices in your heart all you need to do is ignore them.  They will evaporate pretty quickly… and so does the joy of life.

After listening for a while I still don’t hear anything.  But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t get going.

Let me ask, does getting started without a clear direction or plan bother you?  Is it too loose and open ended for your liking?  When traveling I really like to have a map detailing the course to my destination.  But this is different.

Side Note: There are two types of journeys in life.

There are journeys with a destination and there are journeys of exploration.  You will have both types of journeys but it is imperative that you are clear as to the identity of each because success on either journey requires exactly the opposite process and mindset.

Destination: Has a clear end, defined path, checkpoints and usually a timeline.  The joy is reaching the goal.

Exploration: No clear path or timeline.  Instincts and circumstances determine the path and discovery the end.  The joy is the journey and discovery.

So off we go, I’m not worried going in the wrong direction.  If we should happen to explore the wrong path we’ll know.  We’ll turn around and look elsewhere for the prize.  Cool huh?

Ciao for now.

See you Monday

Jan 10

The Direction

Howdy.  I didn’t know if you would be back.  Glad you’re here.

How’s the journey so far?  Psyche!  I’m just playin with your head.  We haven’t even started yet.

But then again I may have spoken too quickly.  Your visiting again may be a part of your journey.  I need to honor that.  Forgive me for violating rule # 1 of travel.

Rule of Travel

# 1.  Every person’s journey is different

I don’t judge yours and you don’t judge mine.  But insights and feedback are welcome.  I don’t know about you but I need all the help I can get.

We may walk on the same path for a while but we may be looking for something different and the things we encounter together will be experienced differently.  That’s the joy of having a companion.

The first decision is which direction we are going to go.  We have many choices.  But one thing is clear, I may not know what direction to go, but I do know what direction NOT to go… back toward the house.  This is a journey outward not inward.

The confines of the house are all too familiar.  I have spent too many years poking around inside trying to figure how every thing fits together and what it means.  If our focus is only inward we become trapped in an emotional cul-de-sac.

The decision to step beyond the known is a big deal.  It’s risky.  This risk is different than what you may think.  Like many, I enjoy taking risks.  I am willing to try new foods, travel to weird places, experience different types of entertainment, and my wife would say my driving is risky.

The risk that I am talking about is self.

Honestly, it is very tempting to forget the whole thing.  I sit typing on the keyboard and I don’t want the hassle or hard work.

Side note:  This blog thing is not a casual endeavor for me.  I am very serious when I say that this is a journey.  I have no idea if anyone is reading this or even cares.  But all I know is that I hear a call from beyond the wall.

I don’t know much, but this I know… there is something remarkable beyond the wall.  I realize that it will be frightening (most likely terrifying), extremely difficult, invigorating, life giving and transforming.  I am scared to death that people will think this blog is stupid, my grammar is terrible and the journey thing is ridiculous.

What makes this particularly difficult is the fact that I am not a writer.  Words do not tumble easily from my heart and head.  They struggle to find their birth on the page.  Whether they have meaning in their life is yet to be known.

The reality is… I know that I don’t have to respond to the call.  I can sit, watch TV and dull my senses to the point where the call is no longer heard and the prickly awareness that currently motivates me can be eliminated.

Even though I feel I am at risk and it’s gonna be challenging… I must go.

If you wish, join me on an adventure into the unknown.

You ready?!  In the old TV show The Cisco Kid, Cisco had a sidekick named Pancho.  His signature line whenever they were leaving was, “Let’s Went”!

So…  Let’s went… any direction but IN.

Hopefully I will see you Monday.