Posts Tagged: troubled

Jun 10

Deep Calls to Deep

I started this entry early this morning in St Louis.  I am in Indianapolis and just now finishing.  Weird day. 

Monday Morning:

I’m feeling very introspective this morning.  There are all sorts of stuff tumbling around and I sit here trying to logically sort out the moving thoughts and emotions. 

There’s a lot of movement… not erratic or helter skelter… deep currents in motion.  The types of things that slowly emerge into momentary recognition and then silently sink back. 

These are not troubling stirrings but substantive truths trying to make their way to consciousness.  I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs that there is a difference between being troubled and being stirred.

Side Note:  Every time I use the word stirred it think of Bond, James Bond… “I’ll have mine stirred not shaken.” 

Yes, I know… I’m weird.


When I am troubled I know that something is going on that needs attention and decisive action is the cure.  But when something is stirring the opposite is true.  For me, when something is stirring I need to just be open, reflect (not try to figure it out), give it some time to allow it to surface.

Also, I recognize that the stirrings I am currently having today are deep Spiritual things… God stuff… not normal personal stuff.  There are stirrings that are important personal things that tumble around inside. These take shape with time, thought, reflection and logic.  But this is not true with Spiritual things.

You cannot logic out Spiritual things. Spiritual things are reveled.


I don’t know about you but God stirrings cause my ears to perk up and my head to tilt.  I know that there is something for me to pay attention about.

Oswald Chambers said that earthly things are thought out by logic and insight but with Spiritual things you must obey your way out.  Humm,  Very interesting thought.

Side Note:  If you have never heard of or read Oswald Chambers you have missed a treat.  He was a Scottish minister from around 1900.  He thinks on a different spiritual level.  My wife and her friend talk about Ozzie. 

What kind of stirring has been going on with you?  Is it a God stirring or just deep thought? 

I know that I have been writing a lot on stirring lately.  I have been a bit concerned but I write what I believe I am to write.  Either there is something God is trying to get at in me or in you.

Thanks for hanging out with me.

See you Thursday.

May 10

Unpacking the Box

Hello again.  Wanna help me unpack?  Any help provided in these matters is always valued and appreciated.

I know the question about unpacking sounds weird but if you take a minute to read the last blog entry it will make sense.

I mentioned that the time box from my youth created a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts.  It was very stirring.

It is important to note and differentiate the difference between being stirred and troubled about something.

Both tend to have an unsettling dimension… a sensation of slow bubbling fermentation.  But to me, both are very different at the core.

Stirring has the sense of something loosening up or breaking apart.  These are old encrusted things being freed from their casement of distorted perspective, faulty memory or erroneous beliefs at a given time in our past.

At the core it is a good thing (uncomfortable… even scary… but good).

Troubled has an ominous feel and is sinister in nature.  Troubling things poke at us demanding attention… all of our attention.  It can easily suck us into a black hole taking us down.

What I am feeling is stirred.  There is something in all of this for me that creates a sense of anticipation… even excitement.

I know that poking around the past can be a bit dicey if not careful.  But our past in proper perspective provides amazing insight to who we are, what we believe and wonderful context to the journey we are on.

The Box

One of the first things I found was a yellowed envelope that had a sort of fabric feel because the stiffness of the paper had deteriorated.  I gently opened the flap and inside was beautiful blond curls of hair… my hair.  It felt weird seeing my childhood hair.

I looked on the envelope and in faded pencil was written, “Jerry’s curls – age 3”.  I have some pictures of me at that age sporting a head full of blond curly hair.  I thought about posting one but that would have been weirder.

Side Note: The items in a time box tell more about the person who saved and packed the box than the specific subject of those items.

As I waded through the box I was beginning to understand more about my mom than learning things about myself.

At the time of the cutting of the curls my mother was a 28 year old woman with three boys (a fourth died shortly after birth).   She had married at the age of 17 to a man who was a migrating country preacher; 10 years her senior… times were hard.

With the envelope I saw a young mother trying to hold on to a snippet of time by capturing the essence of children she loved.  Maybe it was her small way to stop time in a life wrapped in the continuous motion of church, moving and three rambunctious boys under the age of 7.

It makes me wonder what I would pack in a time box.  What would it say about me?  What would your time box say about you?

Interesting things for me to ponder as I continue to unpack my box.

See you Monday.