Posts Tagged: TRUTH


5
Sep 13

The Lie about Lying

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Just so you know, I’m not trying to be cutesy with the title.  I don’t want to dilute the message of this blog entry by trying to be clever.

It may sound weird but there are lies about lying… really.

When I look at the issue of lying and habitual liars in particular, I tend to see people falling into three groups.

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Side Note: My writing about lying seems very strange to me.  I don’t know much about lying.  Frankly, lying is not one of my personal issues.  Believe me when I say I have plenty of flat spots in my life… but lying isn’t one of them

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As I was saying, I see habitual liars falling into three groups.

Group One:  Proud Liar

As mentioned in my previous blog entry, there are people who are really good liars… and proud of it.  They clearly know they are liars and are proud of having mastered the art of deception and enjoy working their craft.

After a successful display of deception they stand puffed in conquest over the carcass of the gullible.

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The essence of lying is in deception, not in words.

-        John Ruskin

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Group Two:  Diluted Liar

There are those who know they stretch the truth or may leave out relevant facts to reach their end goal.  But they have no idea that they are in reality, habitual liars.  They have lived in the shadowy world of lies for so long that their lives have lost distinction of color between truth and lies… there only exists shades of grey.

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The most common lie is that which one lies to himself; lying to others is relatively an exception.

- Friedrich Nietzsche

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This type of liar, lies to himself.  They conveniently apply the same false logic to themselves as they do to their prey.

They alter the reality of who they are to accommodate the lie they want to believe about themselves.  They lie to themselves, and believe the lie that they are not liars.  They justify their craft by believing that they are not as bad as other people, or that the situation demands the stretching of truth.

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I do myself a greater injury in lying than I do him of whom I tell a lie.

- Michel de Montaigne

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Group Three:  Trapped Liar

These are the people who have given in to their dark side and have done things that no one knows.  They live a lie and are entombed by their hidden choices.

They live in fear that someone will find out the things they have done and their world will collapse.  As much as they put on a good face to the world, fear is slowly suffocating the life out of them.  They feel the slide of the slippery slope into the darkness.

To the person reading this who is in this last group… I say very directly and loudly…don’t believe the lie that there is no way out.

Yes, there may be consequences for decisions you have made.  But the ability to breathe the fresh air of freedom is worth it.

This blog entry is not meant to be dramatic.  I write what I think I am to write.  Who knows, God may use my simple words to do a profound work in someone’s life… maybe yours.

See you later.

Ciao.


27
Aug 13

The Truth About Lying

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I am not totally sure why I am digging into this topic today.  Nothing has happened in my own life that added the flake that started the avalanche of thought.

But I feel pressed about this topic, so I write.  I am a firm believer that God on occasion (probably a lot more than we think) will reach down and prod someone to do something for the purpose of helping someone else.

So I believe that I am writing this for someone.  I don’t know who it is, but someone out there in cyberspace needs to hear about and think about lying.  I have a feeling this topic will require more than one blog entry to do it

Here goes.  I want to tell you the truth about lying.

First of all, it’s important to know that I am not going to get into the weeds of what constitutes fibs and white lies.  Yes, telling children there’s a Santa and a Tooth Fairy is a lie.  We have our adult versions of white lies too; such as telling someone you’re busy so you won’t have to go to lunch with them.

Spending time to dissect this surface layer of lying will only clutter the landscape and keep us from the deeper truth about lies.

Let’s be real for a moment.  You know when you lie.  You know the kind of lie I’m talking about.  The lie you tell (or the truth you don’t tell) that crosses the line where trust is violated and destruction begins.

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I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

- Tim Allen

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There is an insidiousness about lying that corrupts us on levels we cannot gauge and distorts the reality around us.

A lie can be a blatant mistruth or the withholding a truth.  Some people lie just as boldly by leaving out information or a truth as one who conjures up misinformation.

As I said, lies are insidious.

There are some people where lying has become an art form.  They actually take pride in their art to manipulate and distort and then brag about their exploits.

They laugh at the gullibility of the trusting and afterward arrogantly preen their egos by reflecting on their skill to manipulate.

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The trust of the innocent is the liar’s most useful tool.

- Stephen King

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But what the liar does not grasp is the fact that their mind becomes darkened by the lies they tell and they are unaware of the trap they have created for themselves.

They are consumed in a lie they do not see.  Lost in a life that has no reality.

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The liar’s punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.

- George Bernard Shaw

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We’ll continue digging in to the issue of truth and lies next time.

See you later.

Ciao.


18
Jan 13

Packed and ready to go

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Have you ever had deep stirrings but couldn’t find words to release the captive thought?

I have, all the time.  I still have lots of deep things that seem frustrated with lack of expression.

I attempt to verbalize the inner truth but my words stumble because of lack of clarity.  And sadly the depth and significance of the thought is lost, even undermined, because of my inability to breathe life into it.

In the past I used to think that it was because I wasn’t bright enough to articulate my thought.  That may be true to some degree but mostly I believe that inner truths need time to germinate and then at the right time they break the surface.

Occasionally I am able to bring clarity on my own.  That is the exception rather than the rule.

Usually someone will come along and articulate or we read something that crystallizes a trapped thought.

When that happens there is an amazing relief.  I hear my head echo, “That’s it, that’s it”.

As all of you know I have been poking at the topic of journey for several years.  And the other day I read something that brought me a huge step closer to bringing clarity to the clutter of thoughts and feelings that have been rubbing against each other.

A friend sent me an email that had the following quote.

The quote is about the importance of and the need for us to travel.  But the truth articulated is not reserved for just traveling to physical new locations.

The beauty of the quote is that it articulates many of my thoughts about the journey of life and the trying of new things.

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“That is why we need to travel. If we don’t offer ourselves to the unknown, our senses dull. Our world becomes small and we lose our sense of wonder.

Our eyes don’t lift to the horizon; our ears don’t hear the sounds around us. The edge is off our experience, and we pass our days in a routine that is both comfortable and limiting.

We wake up one day and find that we have lost our dreams in order to protect our days.

Don’t let yourself become one of these people. The fear of the unknown and the lure of the comfortable will conspire to keep you from taking the chances the traveler has to take.

But if you take them, you will never regret your choice.”

- Letters To A Son. Kent Nerburn

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This quote articulates much better than I the importance of stepping out beyond ourselves.

Life has more than what we settle for.  For those of you reading this blog for the first time, I am not talking about trying new things to feed our appetite for thrills or because we want to run away from life.

No, not at all.  I am talking about things that expand who we are.  Things that make our life richer and deeper.

I am about to do something that I believe will make my life richer and fuller.

I am taking Kent Nerburn’s advice and in two hours I am leaving to go to South Africa for ten days.  This is a church trip thing and it will be fascinating.

So I won’t be posting my next blog entry until the 29th.

I should come back all stretched and insightful.

Ciao.


13
Nov 12

Selfish Bastards

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Hello again.

I know the title put a few of you on edge.  The “B” word is not a regular part of my vocabulary.  But as you read you will understand why.

I am sitting in a hospital room with a family member.  It’s not serious enough to warrant I.C.U. treatment but bad enough to need someone handy to help with simple stuff.

So I sit here pecking away on my computer hoping that I won’t be called on to provide some sort of nursing aide.

A cough, moan, grunt or sudden beep from one of the machines round the bed sets me on edge.  It’s the type of noise that demands that I cast aside my uneasiness about such things and do what needs to be done.

It’s not that I’m not willing to help; it’s just that I’m not very good at hospital stuff.

I find that hanging around a hospital really makes me want to take care of myself.   I want to leave, run to a gym, have a workout, eat a low fat meal and bathe in Purell.

But I’m honest, all this take care of myself motivation doesn’t last too long.  I’m already trying to decide what I want for lunch and it doesn’t include yogurt or greens.

Also, there is something about hospitals that I find weird.  Hospitals completely drain you.

It’s like an energy removing machine that sucks every ounce of life out of your body.  I sit here barely staying awake as drool drops on my computer… well… I may be exaggerating a bit.  But you catch my drift.

As you can tell, I don’t like hospitals.  They give me the willies.

But my discomfort and dislike for hospitals doesn’t matter.  It’s family.

Families are there when you need them.  I would not want to be a part of a family that is only around when things are fun and happy.  Everyone can be a good friend or family member when the good times are rollin’.

But when things are tough and the situation forces us to get out of our comfort zone… then real family love is revealed.

I am not saying this to pat myself on the back, not at all.  Frankly, I’m not that special.

I have been here less than other family members.  But I do want my loved one to know that I’m willing to be there when things are tough.

If a person only makes decisions based on their own personal comfort and desires they are simply a narcissistic pig.

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Being selfish to me means that you have to look out for yourself and you don’t have to sacrifice.
- Herbie Mann
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Yep… pretty strong words… but true.

There are people like that in the world and far too many.  I have been in situations where I have had to visit the hospital or nursing homes enough to know that there are thousands of people sitting alone suffering.

There can be few things more lonely than to suffer by yourself.

That’s why I used the phrase – Selfish Bastards.  The focus of their life is “all about me” and nothing else.  They will occasionally do things but only if convenient or self-serving in some way.

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What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man.
- Herbert Spencer
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A selfish man is a thief.
– Jose Marti
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Yes, we all want things to go our way and we all would rather not do things that are uncomfortable or put us out.

But the reality is, the more we give of ourselves the greater we grow.

Selfish people are small people.

See you later.

Ciao.


19
Oct 12

What’s in a name… more than you think!

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Hi, my name is Jerry Rushing.

I’m sure that it was pretty easy for you to figure out my name without my needing to inform you.  Pretty obvious huh?

Just so you know, I did not plan to name my blog after myself.

Side Note: Stick with me as I talk about the name of my blog.  Believe it or not I will be making a pretty important point.

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Three years ago when I was thinking about writing a blog I had a friend volunteer to set it up for me.

I jumped at the chance for him to create the blog structure because first, I didn’t know how to do it and second, he has a top business blog on the web.  What could go wrong… right?

I figured he would title the site with something that would be both discrete and compelling.

Little did I know he would title it with my name… talk about feeling exposed.  I was hoping to talk about life stuff and stay anonymous.  But in hindsight I believe it was a “God Thing”.

Side Note: True confession… I have never really liked the name Jerry.  Rushing is ok but the first name of Jerry never did anything for me.

It doesn’t feel like a strong name to me.  Maybe I should change my first name…. hummm….  How about “Steel” or some other strong romantic novel leading man name?

I don’t think so.  I’ll just stick with Jerry.

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Now the interesting thing about my name is that if you Google my name you will find that the first Jerry Rushing who pops up is a quasi celebrity.  He was a former moonshine runner that the Dukes of Hazzard was based on.

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The real “Jerry Rushing”

Wow… Jerry Rushing a moonshine runner.  Neither his celebrity status nor his moonshine reputation has ever effected me.  Who knows, maybe my reputation has effected him.

But what if you had a name like Charles Manson, Saddam Hussein, or Jerry Sandusky.  OUCH!

The catalyst for this blog entry is because of a story I heard about a fellow named Jerry Sandusky.  Only his first name starts with a “G” not a “J”.

Gerry Sandusky is a sports commentator for the Baltimore Ravens.  Because his name sounds like the infamous Jerry Sandusky of Penn State Football he has received all kinds of hate mail and threats.

The point of this blog is not to talk about the challenges a person has because they share the name of some horrible person.

The point of the blog is how Gerry Sandusky has handled the situation.

Gerry Sandusky was encouraged to change his name or use a middle name to avoid the backlash of the horrible things the other Jerry Sandusky did.

But he refused.  He wanted his name to stand on its own.  He was not about to let the evil of someone with the same name to corrupt his.  He felt he would be compromising who he was and who his father was if he changed his name for his own personal convenience.

Gerry Sandusky had the right perspective about the situation at Penn State.  He said that he’s not a victim.  There are others who are the true victims.

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I’m not a victim, I’m inconvenienced.

- Gerry Sandusky

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People of character are able to rise above the nastiness of their surroundings.  There is a sacred quality to good people.

Gerry Sandusky redeems the name that Jerry Sandusky destroyed.

Well-done Gerry.  You’re a great example for us all and especially for your children.

I’ll be back on Monday.

Ciao.


16
Oct 12

Distorting the distorted truth

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Welcome back.

As you know we are in the throws of a very aggressive Presidential election.

Yes, I do plan on talking about politics.  But NO, I am not going to talk about a particular candidate or party.

I of course have a preference as to which candidate I think will be the best option for our great country but that is irrelevant to this blog.

This blog is about the fact that I am extremely frustrated with all politicians in general and both political parties.

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Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.
- Henry A. Kissinger
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I don’t know about you but politicians really irritate me.

It seems that all politicians ever do are take shots at each other and speak to us in scripted sound bites.  They don’t give us the big picture of their philosophy or values.

It doesn’t matter what side of the political aisle they because both sides are just as guilty.

They must think the American public are a bunch of idiots.

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If career politicians had the solutions, we wouldn’t be in the mess that we are.
- Rick Scott

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Just for the record, there is no question we have our fair share of really stupid people… all you have to do is look at any one of the several Jackass movies.

But for the most part we are a country made up of hard working people trying to make a life for themselves and their family.

It’s true that some people have more formal education than others, some make more money, we’re large and small, pretty and plain, and many different religions.

But the vast majority loves their country.  We may have different views on what the country needs, but love it nonetheless.

I believe everyone has some basic God given common sense.  There are things that we intuitively know to be good and bad or right and wrong.  I am not talking about a moral sense of right or wrong in this case but a right or wrong in regards to dealing with life situations.

The problem is we don’t get “real information” to make an assessment of the situation.  Everything we hear is spun, twisted, distorted and completely altered to benefit the political bent of the person providing the information.

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I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
- Charles de Gaulle

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We are forced to make important decisions based on truth that is projected through the lens of a kaleidoscope.

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They make it look all pretty but truth is not to be found.

The sad reality is that this distorted truth poisons the well of our mind and then we mangle the truth even more because of our faulty lens.

This all sounds dreary and heavy, but not necessarily.

If we are willing to set aside our programmed notions then we have a better chance to sort through the clutter and find truth.

The most difficult thing as an individual is to realize that our lens is distorted and are willing to test the very beliefs we have.

This takes work and is extremely challenging but oh so rewarding.  Take a chance.

See you Thursday.

Ciao.


21
Sep 12

Character or character?

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Howdy… welcome back.

I’m sure that many of you had to look twice at the title and tried to figure out what it meant.

One is a noun and the other is an adjective.  Humm… I’ll make mine the noun.

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Side Note: If any of you knew me in High School you would be shocked that I even alluded to the parts of speech.  Let’s just say that English and dissecting sentences was not my forte.

My wife is probably laughing that I even attempted to use the term noun or adjective.

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I wasn’t planning to talk about the importance of Character until I saw on YouTube a clip from the movie The Bid Kahuna.

Yeah… I know… I didn’t see it either.

But after seeing the clip I definitely want to check it out.

Take a look and we’ll talk more.

YouTube Preview Image

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I can’t think of a much better compliment than for someone to say they trust me.

As you know, trust and character are so much more than just saying things that are factual.  It’s when a person trusts who you are, not just what you say.

There is such safety and comfort knowing that you are dealing with a person of Character.

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Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.
- Abraham Lincoln
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This may sound odd but there is something sacred about Character.

A person of Character has a depth and a strength that need not be spoken.  It’s just there.  It is exhibited in consistent action not words.

Character is not something you are born with.

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Talent is a gift, character is a choice.

- Larry Brown (Basketball coach)

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It is a choice.  It is developed.

This topic begs questions of myself.

Who am I?  Would people say that I am a person of Character?  Can people trust who I am as a person?

Some of you reading this blog may be known for the adjective character  vs. the Character that is a noun.

But that need not be your identity.  If not careful we can lock ourselves into a lie about ourselves.

The reality is, we have all made mistakes.

There is no question that to rebuild Character takes time and consistency.

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Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.
- Helen Keller

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As I said earlier, it takes time.  And people may not trust us for a while.  But it is important to remember; we change for us, not others.

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You can’t talk your way out of something you acted yourself into.

- Stephen Covey

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Thanks for checking in.

Ciao… see you Monday.


21
Aug 12

The Nothing Day

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The picture has absolutely nothing to do with the blog.  It was just a picture.

I have nothing to say today.  I’m not kidding.

For some reason my head is dead.

I was supposed to have this blog entry written yesterday morning.  Here it is late in the afternoon and I have a dead head.

So what does a person do when they feel empty and void… share something from their journal.

Yep.  I am very reticent to share my journal, but I am.

Also everyone needs to know that there will be some God talk.

“GOD WARNING”

Just because I am going to talk about God don’t get all weirded out.   Those of you who have been hanging out with me for a while know that I don’t expect you to believe the way I do nor am I trying to make you believe the way I believe.

All I ask is to take it as it is.

Journal Excerpt – July 18, 2009

I feel shallow…

Humiliatingly shallow.

You think you’re about to wrap your mind and heart around a spiritual concept and then God cracks the door… ever so slightly and that whisper of a glimpse reveals the folly of being able to capture even a small piece of God.

You cannot grasp God. He grasps you.

If you let Him.

He lovingly reveals Himself in mysteriously subtle glimpses that slowly unfold and reveal more as we are able to grasp, absorb, and cherish the gift of revelation.

What a gift.  What joy!

There is nothing… absolutely nothing that is so refreshing as His Spirit quickening our hearts with His presence.

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I’m not sure why I decided to share this piece of my life.

It must be for someone.  What I said is very true.

There is nothing… absolutely nothing like sensing and experiencing the Spirit of God.

I futilely attempted to talk about feelings in the last blog.

There are some feelings that are hollow and end up being a dead-end.  Generally these are the feelings we get from the things we use in life to create a cheap buzz to help us escape.

God stuff… no escape there… no cheap buzz.

I hope to see you Thursday.

Ciao.


27
Jul 12

I see a reflection!

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You want to know what really bugs me?  Probably not but I will tell you anyway.

Pushy People.

Have you ever been driving along pretty fast and then have someone ride your butt with the intention of pushing you along?

I don’t know about you but it doesn’t motivate me to move along faster.  In fact I want to slow down to show them they can’t control me.

Yes, call me weird or sick.  I probably have some psychological malady about being controlled that surfaces during these events.

But pushy people bug me… and not just in driving.

I dislike it when I am in a line and people get all pushy and try to slip around me trying to get ahead.

If you have ever been trapped at an early bird buffet in Fort Lauderdale you catch my drift.  There is enough pushing, shoving and cane poking to last a lifetime.

In the spirit of full disclosure my wife would say that I would tend to be pushy at times… humpf… not me.

Well, maybe a little – but not much (seriously).

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Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire.
– Confucius
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One of the things that I’ve learned over time is that the things that quickly irritate us most are things that we tend to do ourselves.

I’ve mentioned this example in an earlier blog but it applies perfectly to the topic today.

When I meet someone new I do the usual chitchat that everyone does to establish relationship.  As you know, at some point the conversation with someone you just met eventually circles around to children.  How many? Ages? Etc.

After I have established a good rapport (and if the circumstances are appropriate) I generally ask which of their lovely children tends to be the greatest challenge for them personally.

Nine times out of ten it’s the child that is most like them.  The parent gets irritated at the child for very things they do.

Yep… we are all guilty of this to some degree.

Allow me to throw a few examples at you and see if any irritate you.  As the old country axiom goes… the dog that yelps was the one hit by the rock.

-        Pushy people dislike things that push them

-        People who have edgy tones in their voices bristle at edgy tones in others

-        Aloof people hate being discounted

-        People with cutting sarcasm detest insensitive cutting people

-        Controlling people hate to be controlled

-        Intolerant people abhor intolerant people

-        Add your own to the list

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I can hear some of you scowling in your head… this guy is making blanket statements and exaggerating the examples.

Oh… did I forget to mention a couple of more things that should be on the above list?

-   People who exaggerate deplore exaggeration

-   People who make blanket statements are bothered by people who make blanket statements

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Frankly, I am sure most of you can punch holes in my logic.  Probably.

But for some of you I hit a nerve.  That’s a good thing.

A hit nerve forces us to take a look at what’s causing the pain.

Ciao… See you Monday.


13
Jul 12

The Big Lie

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Hi… Welcome back.

I know that I have talked about this topic several times over the past two and a half years but it is something that is both important and frankly, it keeps resurfacing.

So I am compelled to write what I feel I am to write.  Who knows, maybe it is specifically for you.  Or it could be for me.  I don’t know yet because I don’t know what I am about to write.

Basically the topic is about the way we think… what we believe.

I cannot overstate the power our beliefs have in our lives.  Our lives and the actions in our lives reflect what we believe.

That’s why it’s always important to be willing to test our beliefs and assumptions.  The problem is we tend to only test the beliefs we have some question about.

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This is how humans are: we question all our beliefs, except for the ones we really believe, and those we never think to question.

– Orson Scott Card
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To be able to test and eventually change our beliefs we have to be open.  Open to information, facts and ideas.

I’m not talking about a frenzied and morbid introspection where you are questioning every detail of your life… not at all.

I am talking about just being willing to be open to facts and situations that cause us to ask questions about what we believe.

If you look at what you believe now compared to when you were young you can probably list quite a few things that you know to be different than what you were taught or once believed.

As you think about the beliefs you had when you were younger you can clearly see how behaviors reflected those beliefs.

You will also find that there are some beliefs that have remained the same… they stood the test of scrutiny.

Here’s something else to think about as you explore your beliefs and determine what you think needs testing.

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If you don’t change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news?

– Dr. Robert Anthony
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Is your life where you want it to be?  Most of us would answer this by saying that there are lots of things I love about my life and there are some things I want or need to change.

The things you know you need changing are a result of some type of faulty belief.  Yep… faulty belief.

There are two important truths about beliefs that we need to keep in mind.

First, actions follow beliefs.

We act out what we believe.  If you believe you are a failure… you will act it out.

If you believe you are not as talented as your co-workers your actions will reflect it by being too tentative, or too defensive, or being too hard headed.  But your actions (generally the destructive behaviors) are a result of your beliefs.

Once again, a good way to determine what you really believe is to look at what you do.

The second truth is that we look for evidence to validate our beliefs.  We constantly look for evidence to prove our beliefs.

We will look for anything to prove we are right in what we believe.  If you have a favorite celebrity that is caught in a scandal you will look for the things that disprove the evidence.

Conversely, if there is a celebrity that you loath you will read into anything you hear or read to validate what you believe about them.

Yes… we are all twisted that way.  But the important thing is to understand that we do it.

Another really important learning here is that these truths apply to the good things about us as well as the bad.

The good things we believe are also reflected in our behaviors.

So the question may be, why focus primarily on the negative.

The reason we tend to focus on the negative beliefs is that negative things create the greatest drag or obstacles on our moving forward.  So in reality we are focusing on the areas that if addressed will have the greatest impact.

Well, I’ve written enough.

See you Monday.

Ciao.